The final limited edition (500 prints then death, unless I think we can make more money in which case this is the *Penultimate Edition* (probably even more valuable)) of the now-infamous "Clown Blouse". Send a firm message to anyone who ever doubted you. Anyone who sees you wearing this will know you're the fucking man, and that you basically raped them at the game of life, and you are the embodiment of Rolex Lifestyle, you make homemade porno films with 10's and basically drive BMWs and take big ass fucking shits on other people's lives, you're not sleeping in a Toyota Prius eating McChickens and praying for cancer. This is the shirt of a God.
Printed on wholesome cotton material in Trump's AmeriKKKa
Yellow metallic ink on red tee (so you look like MigDonald's (your favorite restaurant))
WHY IS THIS SHIRT SO EXPENSIVE? It will be printed all over in metallic foil, that's why. It costs like $2.00 extra for each printing location and we're gonna print everywhere, in the armpits, on the sleeves, you'll look very tribal when you wear it. Call up Jakprints and show them these images and ask them how much it costs to print yourself and maybe save a few bucks making a bootleg version (Audemars Lifestyle not guaranteed).
Final artwork may vary slightly. 100% cotton tampon, 100% cotton lifestyle. However, legally, if you get a 100% polyester t-shirt in the mail, there is nothing you can do about it. Might just sent you trash and empty milkshake cups if we don't like the way your name sounds
Wear it to the mosque.
When all is said and done, there will be so much ink on this shirt that it just feels like shit, like a big piece of plastic... It's going to be really tacky looking, especially with metallic foil printing, you're just going to look like a clown when you wear it, but there's something about looking like a clown that is nice sometimes and it has to be done, essentially. Might line the inside with horse hair. Please make sure you order a size larger than you usually do, so it fits like a nice huge dress and also because once you are wearing it you'll probably start eating junk food more and get fatter. Wear it to a job interview if you want them to hire you as the new CEO right then and there. Wear it to the gym if you want to fuck the hottest girl in the gym in the bathroom right away no questions asked. Wear it to Chipotle if you want the hot chubby cashier girl to put mustard on your cock and start sucking it like a hot dog in the back while you don't even look at her or think about how your cock feels you're just looking at the Royal Oak Offshore on your wrist like a psycho and thinking about how good your muscles look, completely detached from reality and what's going on when you actually realize you're standing in Best Buy looking at phones you can't afford and people in there with kids are making sure their kids don't get anywhere near you becuase you're a weird fucked up freak.
"I feel like this shirt is half art piece, half cry-for-help." - Anthony Fantano
"Hi Sam. I'm excited top wear my fantastic shirt, but any advice on removing the tacky stuff on the inside of the shirt? Is it safe to wash or will it fuck up the design?" -- N.S.
DISCLAIMER: Must be homosexual and clinically obese to order. Please attach photographic proof of homosexuality along with a doctor's note regarding your obesity. When this thing comes in the mail and your parents see what you spent their money on, they will probably disown you. If you ever have daughters and catch them wearing this you might have to just 'marry' her...
Fair warning this shirt really looks like shit and you are not going to enjoy wearing it. I have one hanging on my wall but I really wouldn't wear it for any reason.